At the 2005 Bassmaster Classic in Pittsburgh, the suits at ESPN decided that more media coverage is always better media coverage, so they attempted to shove two writers in certain competitors’ boats on a single day. Aaron Martens, who is known to be pretty obsessive about the weight of his boat, flipped out. Not only would his ride be slower, but it would be more cramped, too. He appealed to Rick Clunn for advice.
In most sports, you are either done in by a gruesomely Theismann-esque injury or by a coach who cuts your underperforming butt and sends you back to bagging groceries or (if you’ve had a little more success) to a life of leisure and autograph signings. [The one exception to this seems to be heavyweight boxing, where fighters are never really retired, they’re just waiting between fat-free infomercial grill inventions for another payday].