I learned this week that just before I set out for Tennessee to enjoy the Bassmaster Classic a truck overturned near a tributary of the Upper Potomac River and dumped 8,000 bottles of ranch dressing into the drink (note: 12,000 additional bottles were saved for salad lovers throughout the Mid-Atlantic.
A crew worked for another week and managed to haul off 3,000 of those bottles, which means that a month later at least some of that buttermilk-based sauce has made it down to the tidal section of the river.
Perhaps those of us out looking for big prespawn bass should put the garlic dipping dye away in favor of a supermarket dipping sauce. Maybe my man Ron Colby will figure out a way to inject it into Senkos in place of (or in addition to?) salt.
I somehow envision that soon after reading this no fewer than 20 bass pros will petition Hidden Valley for sponsorship or a wrap deal. That’s not a terrible idea. According to a 2017 study by the Association for Dressings and Sauces (run by Chef Boyardee, no doubt), 40 percent of Americans list it as their favorite dressing. The company took in over $450 million in 2017, so they definitely have some bucks to spend in our little pond.